Victim of abuse overcomes suicidal thoughts by speaking out about it

Every year hundreds of people people take their own lives, and there are many more people who attempt to do so. This month, the World Health Organization (WHO) announced on it World Suicide Prevention Day (WSPD), on Sunday, September 10 2023, that this can be avoided if people speak out about the pain they feel. 

According to the press release, the theme for this year is “Creating Hope Through Action”. It highlights some of the roles people can play in supporting individuals experiencing a suicidal crisis.

Source: Our World in Data

According to the WHO, “experiencing conflict, disaster, violence, abuse, or loss and a sense of isolation are strongly associated with suicidal behaviour.”

One such abuse precipitated the struggles of Rachael Adegboyega (not her real name), a 21-year-old girl living in the south-west, who shared her ordeal with this reporter. 

She was sexually abused at age 9 by her aunt’s husband in 2011 when the predator and his family came to stay with them in Ibadan. Two or three years later, the abuse continued, and Rachael, as young as she was, could not mobilize any courage to speak out until July 2022, when she disclosed it to her mother.

Rachael’s memory of the scenario kept hurting her for nine years, but she later became wholly strong and seemed to have learned to focus on the important things life has to offer. She was like a preacher, sharing the heartbreaking story far and wide with friends and people on the internet. The confidence to tell her story without concealing her identity has made her feel grown and a better advocate that she no longer spends the nights thinking she’s a failure. 

But sometimes, she feels depressed and unable to carry out daily activities, and at times she might be hyperactive when it comes to work. Her mood became unstable after the predator left his wife and absconded with their two sons to Lagos.

Rachael recently graduated from a university regardless of the ups and downs she faced because of her traumatic experience.

In 2021, she went to see a psychologist and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, a mental disorder associated with episodes of mood swings, which include mania or hypomania and loss of interest in daily activities. 

Rachael was undoubtedly battling with distress despite having the courage to share her story openly. “I have been on free virtual therapy sessions for a while now before I stopped,” she said, “but it has become worse that I have to look for ways to get back in and start using meds.” 

She recounted that recently, in July this year, she experienced a depressive episode again and was weighed down by some suicidal thoughts. Because of this, “I got back to therapy with another N.G.O”, she narrated. 

A clinical psychologist at Ekiti State University Teaching Hospital (EKSUTH), Dr Adedotun Ajiboye, explained that some early warning signs of suicide, including expression of hopelessness and helplessness, an overwhelming sense of shame or guilt, and a lack of interest in things previously important, and in the future are some of the signs that lead to suicidal cases. “But due to the dearth of data as a result of stigma, culture, and religious sentiments, he said, “one may not be so accurate about the exact prevalence of suicide in Nigeria.”

A study he cited indicates that the highest number of depression in Africa comes from Nigeria and that suicide is highly related to depression. Also, many studies report that “childhood sexual abuse is associated with adult-onset depression in both men and women, and occurrence of such abuse is more common in girls than in boys. 

From a data repository, child sexual abuse is usually hidden from view, and children may be too young, too scared or too ashamed to tell anyone about what’s happening to them. According to the report, one in four girls and one in ten boys experience childhood sexual abuse in Nigeria – while only 5.8 per cent of girls who have this experience know where to seek help. 

Dr Ajiboye, who also doubles as the president of a mental health-focused N.G.O, said sexual abuse is a traumatic experience that may lead to an emotional wound that may be very difficult to heal if help is not sought on time. For example, post-traumatic stress disorder can manifest after any traumatic experience as that of Racheal. He said, “if anyone is traumatized, it is highly necessary to seek holistic help for total recovery, both physical, mental, and social.” 

As for Rachael, the financial commitments that come with therapy sessions pose an outright challenge. “Lack of money has been holding me to go for deep therapy and start medications,” she whined. “Now, the therapist presently attending to me under a free service would be referring me to a therapist in the University College Hospital in Ibadan, and I think I’d pay for that. But God will do it!”

The average cost of therapy in Nigeria is really not fixed, it depends on a few factors like the type of therapy needed, the popularity of the therapist, and the amount of help needed from the therapist. However, the average cost of seeing a therapist in Nigeria is between N20,000 and 50,000. 

However, a clinical psychologist with the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH), Mr Eniola Uthman, let out that sometimes it is not always about the money. 

The important first step to treatment is knowing if the client is available to talk about their feelings, and, as a professional, you should be able to assist the person, he said. 

Mr Enilola also regretted that some Nigerians experience suicidal ideation, self-harm, and the act of committing suicide, but it can be reduced if schools, organizations, and other facilities would employ or solicit the help of mental health professionals, clinical psychologists, counsellors and the likes to guide people out of the stressing situation. While it’s the role of the government to make care available, social support is also crucial.